Dear Future Soulmate,My name is Agatha Harris, "Aggie" for short, and I am seeking a gentleman of stable means. He must be on sound financial footing. Looks are not all that important to me, but I would prefer a gentleman taller than my 5'6" height. I do not want to go into matters of a sexual nature but I am not well-versed in the ways of males as regards physical joining and would need extensive training by my prospective partner in such matters. I would like to interject that in such matters, I will readily defer to my spouses desires and promise to be obedient in all respects. I recently passed my eighteenth birthday and have decided to seek a spouse rather than join a convent as proposed by my parents because in all honesty I feel the need for physical release only given by the insertion of male parts into my feminine core. I trust you do not find me disgusting in my frankness because I am at heart a good girl and not one to wallow in such thoughts or base deeds. I need a. She didn’t mean to. It’s all uncharted territory this. She was just trying, I don’t know, to get things organized in a useful way.”“Hmm,” I said which was the same as saying nothing.“Look, if I have my way this little confab might last a while. Can I get you something, I mean even a donut?” he said. I laughed.“Look around you. Do you think that even a loser like me would be eating anything they serve in here?” I said.“Actually, yes,” he said, smiling.“Touché,” I said. “Fact is I’ve eaten here lots. But it was always against my better judgment.”“Going back to something you said a few minutes ago,” he said.“What?” I said.“That you’d consider taking a hand up from me if I included your buds. That a true thing?” he said. I looked at him hard.“Let’s talk about something else, okay. I’m not into making decisions for other people today. And, in any event I just can’t be around the woman on any level not required by law or basic humanity, not anymore, not after today,” I said.“Man, so you.
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